Team Badass: Part 13

Reed: So, wait.  Deadpool is off fighting the Joker and Sweet Tooth!?  Are you nuts?!  Everyone will die... and I really don't care if they do.

Wigglytuff: Well, it is time for us to...uh... can I get a plotline here?

Wigglytuff: It is time for us to...

Wigglytuff: It is time for us to... WILL YOU STOP REWINDING!?

Later:

Wigglytuff: Now that my lawyer has calmed me down.

Harvard Man: Don't mention it.

Wigglytuff: Okay, our newest job involves us going into space.

Link: Why?

Wigglytuff: I don't know, but I don't question the guy with the money.

Link: We are going to die.

Deadpool: Oh, it can't be that bad.

Link: With you: Yes, it can.

Captain Falcon: So, what exactly are we doing?

Wigglytuff: We are going on a sci-fi type adventure!

Spike: Again?

Tex: So, what exactly does this entail?

Wigglytuff: Far off space travel, gunfights...

Tex: I'm in.  

Wigglytuff: Uber-violence...

All: Me, too.

Wigglytuff: Character Development.

Later:

Genlos: So, you accepted my offer...

Wigglytuff: Yep.*Sees Master Chief alongside him.*

Master Chief: Hey!  I'm rejoining.

Wigglytuff: Why?

Master Chief: No one else would hire a super-soldier bred for combat.  None that I could keep a job at.  I tried window-washing; I broke the windows. I tried house-keeping; I broke the house.  I tried being a mail man; I tipped over the mail-truck while trying to get in.  I tried being a plumber; I got sued by Luigi... and lost.  I tried being a firefighter; apparently, you are supposed to put out the fires.  I tried being a businessman, but I went out of business.

Link: WHAT DID YOU SERVE?

Master Chief: Roadkill.

Link: What do you mean, Roadkill?

Master Chief: Whatever I ran over with the Warthog.

Later: In SPACE!

Deadpool: Dun... Dun... Dun... DUNDUN!!! Dun dun dun dun dun dun... Dun... Dun... DUN-DUN!!!

Link: WILL YOU SHUT-UP!

Shadow: SERIOUSLY: YOU'RE ANNOYING ME!!

Lepran: Wow.  That is a record.

Levren: So, Chief: how have you been?

Master Chief: Samus is pregnant.

Tex: No surprise there.

Master Chief:  Yeah.  However, with that, Money is tight.  UNSC doesn't exactly pay good. I mean, we didn't even get dental... Or anything, for that matter.  Just a couple of beers every now and then.  And I can't get drunk.  Neither can Sergeant Johnson, but he finds ways to get intoxicated.

Johnson:*Inebriated*  Wha?

Master Chief: See.  Hey, where is the Arbiter?

Anvois: He's here.  I'm Anvois, leader of the Old Byron Mercenaries.  We disbanded years back, but reunited.  

Kratos: Sounds like the Argonauts.

Anvois: Kratos! It has been a while!

Kratos: Yeah.  We all know you.  From the Battle of Luigi's Mansion!

Anvois: Yeah.

Kratos: How are things going for you?

Anvois: Well, I am still trying to find redemption.  I have done terrible things for power in the past.  I have died and returned.  I don't want to go back.  

Kratos: Well, That makes two of us.  I simply wish to make sure I get paid.  I have no family anymore.  I need this money for myself.

Anvois: I know what you mean.  I lost my wife.  She left me.  She's since died.  However, with five full-grown sons, I can't complain.

Link: Paper Mario 3DS is AWESOME!

Anvois: Excuse me, I need a trip down Nostalgia land.

Kratos: Take your time.

End Part 13.

Arbiter: HEY! LET ME IN THE SHIP! PLEASE! THERE ARE MONSTERS OUT HERE!  LITERALLY! HELP! I AM TOO FUNNY TO DIE!